This happens every year. Come the week before January and I begin to feel the stir of the new year and the possibility of redemption. I buy new planner and pens and cleaning supplies, promising myself that this year will be different. This year, I’ll become a changed person.
But of course, change doesn’t happen as instantaneously as I want it to. In fact, the only change that matters seems to happen so slowly that it’s imperceptible. As I look back on this past year (or even my entire life so far), the changes that stuck in my identity weren’t of a sudden nature. They’re the result of constant forces in my life striking me every so slightly with a tiny hammer every day. With every ping, slowly chipping away an old resolve and leaving the space empty for something else to fill it.
Nevertheless, I’ll set new resolutions for this year, determined to go through with them, but forgetting them after a month (just as I have 8 fully written blog posts in my drafts just waiting to be finalized and posted). However, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Maybe the small lapses in my motivation are what is needed to bring about a greater burst. Maybe this greatness will happen this year.
One thing is certain: I have changed, I am changing, and I will change for the better with every small action towards progress.
For auld lang syne,
Soeun.
SPARKSPIRATION 